Q: What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common? Q: What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? A: When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Let's just be friends." Q: What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus and a yeast infection? Q: Why don't bunnies make noise when they make love? Q: What do you get when you cross an Owl and a Rooster?
In second place was a legendary one-liner about a zoo with just one dog being a 'shitzu'.
Other jokes to make the top 20 include a string of brilliant one-liners - and digs at wives, husbands, blondes and foreigners.
A joke about a male bus passenger insulting a woman's ugly baby has been hailed in a survey as the funniest gag ever.
Researchers scoured the web and examined more than 1,000 jokes before whittling them down to a final 50 on which 36,000 people voted.
Q: Whats the difference between a microwave and a woman. Q: What's the difference between a Southern zoo and a Northern zoo?
A careers advisor went to a school and asked a student, “What do you want to do when you leave here? When suddenly out of nowhere a car pulled up next to his parked car and hit Dave. Luckily they let him out after 3 hours and he walked in the door to his house at 8 o’clock. She thought it was a dirty and low way to fill his time, but she had long ago resigned herself to her sorry fate, although inside of her, there was always a low flame on the back burner waiting to erupt. John walks into his 5th floor apartment after a long day of work, he exhaustively sinks into his favorite arm chair, puts up his footrest, turns on the TV, and turns to his wife Hannah, “Honey, please get me a hard drink, I think it’s about to start.” Hannah rolls her eyes, heads to the kitchen, takes out a beer from the fridge, and brings it to John. That was the first question he asked me about you too! I’m only 40 years old but I look and feel like I’m over 55! One Wednesday night, after a few nights of boring games, something exciting happened. “Honey”, said John, two minutes later, “please get me another one quickly “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU LAZY GOOD FOR NOTHING! Adam responded with a wave of his hand, “I just lost track of the time.” Now Eve didn’t have a Mother or girlfriend around to calm her fears, after all it was just her and her Husband and despite Adam’s convincing act her overactive imagination could not be calmed. “YOU KNOW DARN WELL WHAT I’M DOING” Screamed Eve right back, “NOW YOU BETTER LAY STILL RIGHT NOW, AND LET ME FINISH COUNTING THOSE RIBS! I have something very important to tell you,” said Samantha, upon her return home from college after graduation. ” Gushed her Mom giving her a big hug, “I hope you two will be really happy together! ” “Tell us more about him” said her Dad, “does he have any money? ” “Harry,” whined Mary, to her husband of 20 years. My face is all wrinkly, my back is bent over, and my hair is all thinned out.” “Well,” said Harry after looking her up and down, “There is one thing about you that still works as good as new.” “Oh Harry! “C’mon Harry, please tell me what you were referring to.” “Mary, please don’t make me.” “Harry I insist.” “Well I was going to remark about how your eyesight seems to be working just fine! Sam watched in amusement as John and Abe, each convinced that they had the better hand, slowly put their life savings into the pot. Did you hear about the new "morning after" pill for men? ” The student replied, “A gynecologist or a train driver.” The career advisor was so baffled by this that she said, “Train driver and gynecologist?